Dating trouble!
by CHOWY
Summary: Features Chazz going to a dating agency.. and screwing up bigtime! Oneshot, NO FLAMES PLEASE. R


**I don't own GX! This one's a rather crappy attempt at a crackfic. :)  
Chazz going to a dating agency and, the moral of the story is: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!  
Enjoy:))**

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Chazz furtively entered the shop, seating himself on the bench, grabbing a magazine from the stand and burying his head in it.

_I must have been STUPID to do this_, he thought as he nervously scrunched up the magazine, then proceeded to tear out each of the pages, without actually realising what he was doing. _What should I do now? If any of those slackers from Duel Academy see me here, I'm gone! I'll have no more reputation! What should I do now?!_

The receptionist cast an angry glance at him, and he glanced down at his hands to find shredded papers of what formerly was a magazine. Hastily, his face burning, he replaced it on the stand.

_I'm here, I might as well do it!_

Chazz stood up and made his way to the counter. "Excuse me," He said softly, while looking around anxiously for any people he knew. The receptionist pointedly ignored him and turned away to reshuffle her papers. "Excuse me." He snapped, but still softly. She glanced up, then turned away again and started reshuffling her stupid papers for the god-knows-how-many-times.

_It must have been me shredding that magazine_, Chazz thought irritatibly, _women. stingy irritatible creatures_.

"Youlistenhereiwishtoregisteratyourdatingagency." The words came out from Chazz in a rush, as the receptionist smirked, remarking as she handed him a paper with a whole lot of questions, "It's no surprise you're here. No one in their right mind would go for you." She flung a pen at him before turning around to arrange her papers _again_.

Chazz swallowed back a retort. He was a gentleman, not like this... wild boorish irritating stingy creature.

He picked up his pen, twirled it and wrote down his particulars. Then came to the questions. They were not necessarily hard, some of them were just embarassing. As he skimmed through them, his face grew several notches redder. Then, he picked up his pen again and read the first question.

**What is your body type? (eg: Slim, athletic)**

Of course he worked out often. His body might be a little scrawny, but that wasn't for them to decide. The Chazz always had a perfect body. Smirking, he put down, _athletic._

**How much body hair do you have?**

How COULD they ask this sort of questions? Chazz was offended as he considered flinging the pen in the receptionist's face and tearing the paper to shreds. Dismissing the idea, he thought of his answer. Well... he had hair where it counted, so that would be... He put down, _Hairy._

**Do you have 20/20 eyesight?**  
_Yes_

**Are you going bald?**  
_NO_

**How long is your penis? (inches)**

Chazz's face went red as he hastily choked on his saliva. What was he supposed to do, measure it right now? The receptionist, having seen this sort of reaction from many guys, sniggered heartily. Chazz shot her an irritated glance. Just she wait, he would poke her pen in her eye, or in some other sensitive areas... He returned to the question. Now what was he going to write? He supposed his was quite long, he put down, _4 inches._

**How would you rate your attractiveness on a scale from 1 to 10?**

Well, Chazz considered this question. He supposed it could be a trick question, to see whether one was as thickskinned. However, Chazz was sure that he was very attractive on the whole, so after a while, he scribbled down 10, then hastily cancelled that out and put down_ 9_. He supposed that 9 was a very inaccurate estmate of his attractiveness, but one had to be humble at times.

**How would you rate your atheletic ability on a scale from 1 - 10?**

Chazz thought for awhile. He supposed he worked out, yes he did, although not often. However, sometimes, lying was necessary. He put down, 10, and could not resist adding in brackets, _that's where I get my hot bod from!_ Surveying his work, Chazz grinned. It was the truth, his bod was hot and he worked for it, although sometimes, there was weeks where he could be lazy enough to get off from his bed.

Chazz skimmed the questions:

**How often do you drink alchohol?**  
_Almost never._

**How often do you exercise?**

Well he supposed he exercised once a week, but would girls find that enough? He thought of Atticus, whose home was the water, and who exercised almost everyday. Chazz supposed a little lying wouldn't hurt, so he put down, _everyday!_

**How often do you visit adult content (pornographic) websites?**

Chazz gulped and blushed. Sometimes when he was bored, and that was sometimes, he would just go and surf around. Well, Chazz thought, surfing pornographic websites was what a normal guy would do, and whoever didn't surf pornographic websites for his whole life was either missing out on something big or simply, gay. Chazz put down, _on a weekly basis._

**Which sexual orientation do you prefer?  
**_Sraight._

**How would you rate your sense of style on a scale of 1 - 10?**

Chazz glanced down at his coat. He had been wearing it for five continuous days and it had started to smell. Well, he was in Duel Academy and that was his uniform. He thought of his large cupboard with all his clothes, many of them he had never even seen before and much less, worn. He guessed, his sense of style was quite updated. After all he was The Chazz. He put down_ 9_.

**How would you rate your sense of humour from a scale of 1 - 10?**

Chazz grimaced. He could almost hear Atticus's voice in his head, "That guy doesn't even have a speck of humour!" Well, it was necessary to lie, and beside, Atticus that slacker did not notice charm when he saw it. The Chazz was charming. He put down 10.

**How would you rate your artistic ability on a scale of 1 - 10?**

Did that even matter? Chazz thought irritatibly to himself. It wasn't like he was going to draw portraits of his wife everyday! Well, he supposed he did quite well in Art, didn't he? The Chazz was good in everything he did. Smirking, he put down _9._ He supposed one had to be humble, seeing that his style, manner, personality, made up for all that.

**Do you have an addictive personality?**  
_Of course._ He was the Chazz after all!

**Do you contribute to charities or do volunteer work?**

Well, Chazz bit the end of the pen, he had slackers on his hands everyday; Atticus, Jaden, Hassleberry, Syrus... He supposed he was helping them, wasn't he? The Chazz was bighearted and helped people regularly! Chazz brightened and put down, _everyday!_

At last the last question! Chazz read the last question;

**How would you treat your future wife?**

Well, Chazz ruminated, what did girls like? He supposed they like sweet stuff, so, again, spinning lies in his head, he put down,_ I would give her flowers everyday, serenade her with my love, care and concern, and I would wash our laundrey everyday._ Well the last part about washing laundrey was a total lie, seeing as it was that Chazz never washed his clothes, but it didn't matter.

Happily, Chazz submitted his survey form to the receptionist, who skimmed his answers then chuckled, seemingly able to see through his lies. Well, Chazz raised an eyebrow as he threw the pen into a bin, he supposed she worked there because she couldn't find a husband who wanted her.

Guffawing, Chazz left a last word to the receptionist. "I suppose your phone line would be engaged all day as soon as you submit my form! I am the Chazz after all!" He smirked at her, leaving a last word for her. "Come to me for dating advice if you wish." Then he smirked, and turned on his heel.

The receptionist stared, anger crept onto her face. What was he, merely a liar? And what about that last comment he had given her? Her luck at dating was way better than his! Smirking, the receptionist brought out a new form, neatly copied in the particulars and changed every single of one the answers.

Thus, the form read this:

**What is your body type? (eg: Slim, athletic)  
**_Flabby with bits of fat hanging out_

**How much body hair do you have?  
**_Almost non-existent. A few strands here and there._

**Do you have 20/20 eyesight?  
**_No, I wear glasses at least 5 inches thick._

**Are you going bald?  
**_I have very little hair around my body to start with._

**How long is your penis? (inches)  
**_About 1 inch. It has grown considerably from it's former 0.4 inches._

**How would you rate your attractiveness on a scale from 1 to 10?  
**_Sadly, I would like to lie, but the answer is a 1, 2 at best._

**How would you rate your atheletic ability on a scale from 1 - 10?  
**_I do not exercise, preferring to contribute to my bulk on my stomach. Thus, my athletic ability is ranked at 2. _

**How often do you drink alchohol?**  
_Alchohol contributes to my beer belly, which is a very important part of my existence. Thus, I drink alchohol liberally._

**How often do you exercise?**  
_Every few months, when I am forced to by the Gym teachers._

**How often do you visit adult content (pornographic) websites?  
**_It is safe to say, everyday. My home page is a very wellknown pornographic website._

**Which sexual orientation do you prefer?  
**_I prefer gays._

**How would you rate your sense of style on a scale of 1 - 10?  
**_I would honestly rate my sense of style around 1. I love my sleeveless shirt as it is airy around the forearms and gives much room for scratching._

**How would you rate your sense of humour from a scale of 1 - 10?  
**_I can make corny/horny jokes! My sense of humour is a 3._

**How would you rate your artistic ability on a scale of 1 - 10?  
**_I am quite a wellknown artist, specialising in the area of nudity. Thus, my artistic ability is rated at 6._

**Do you have an addictive personality?  
**_If you prefer oversized giants, yes._

**Do you contribute to charities or do volunteer work?  
**_No, I can barely get out of my couch._

**How would you treat your future wife?  
**_I promise not to squash her during sexual intercourse, however, it is still a possibility._

The receptionist chuckled, the last laugh. Let this guy see who would be on his doorstep a few weeks after that!

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**This idea was a pretty crap one, but I pretty like it. :)  
Please R&R. I need comments/criticisms to improve. So yeeeees, click that SUBMIT REVIEW button please:)**


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